Tag: gratitude

I’m back

Hey guys,

I know i’ve been gone for quite a while. As I mentioned in my last post I was dealing with a lot. And even more happened since then. I put my older cat down a week after that post and it was really hard. I am still very sad about it.

Added to that, I decided to go see if a new kitty caught my eye not long after. My younger resident cat seemed lonely and I didn’t want him to be alone too long. Well I got a new cat. She’s 2. She came from a crazy living situation, an apartment with 60+ other cats! She has adjusted well and seems very happy now, but it was a rough start. She became very attached to me from the get-go but whenever my older cat would come too close they would fight. I was encouraged by the shelter to not do the usual separation for a few days since she was used to being around so many other cats and being alone might not be good for her. Big mistake! So after about a week I fully separated them for about a week. During this time my older cat got very sick. Nightmare! Took 3 visits to the vet and a week of not eating to find out he had an infection. Probably caught it from the other cat. Very stressful time!

Happily they are getting along really well now, and i’m back to my sanctuary. I still miss my old girl, but the new energy is nice, and I know that she would want me to be happy and give another cat a loving home.

Added to that I had an employee more or less go behind my back and accuse me of unfair treatment. (Totally unfounded, she just needs to take more ownership of her own performance/behavior). That seems mostly resolved now, but did NOT need the added stress let me tell you. Let alone that Friday, the day before I start vacation, I was unintentionally made to feel guilty about taking it because one of the things I do weekly isn’t simple, and even though I trained two others on it, it’s not enough.

So now I am on vacation, and I started my vacation with my car smoking. Hopefully it’s a small repair and nothing major. But lately it just feels like I can’t catch a break!

Thank god for one of my coworkers and my mom. Keeping me sane because I don’t know what i’d do honestly. My mom told me that we go through hard times but they don’t last forever. And you just get through it and learn from it. So I am feeling better and a little closer to my usual positive self and am going to take advantage of this week off and be productive. I want to try and write a few blogs and get ahead and work on a few other projects to¬† be able to take bigger steps towards some of my goals.

I will be writing some different kinds of blog posts mixed in with my own personal experiences going forward, so look out for that. I don’t want people to get bored of reading about little old me lol. But I know i’ve been told that sharing my experiences has helped others, and writing things out helps me, so you will still see posts like this too.

So if you find yourself going through a difficult time, don’t do it alone. Find what outlet works best for you. Talking to your family/friends, writing things out, talking to someone professionally. It doesn’t matter. Just never think that you’re alone or that the hard times will last forever. It’s the hard times that make us appreciate the good times. And if we can find the silver linings and lessons in them, and grow, then they are worth going through.

Sometimes adulting is hard! Until next time!

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Merry Christmas!

I always get a lil lonely on Christmas Eve. I’ll admit it. My family and I always do Christmas day together. We spend the whole day together and I love it. But the day before, when all my friends are with their families, or doing other things, I get a lil lonely, i’ll admit it. It’s rare that I am lonely, so it’s not the end of the world. Just makes waiting for Christmas day a little harder is all.

I’ve been really struggling with my anxiety this week. It’s rare that I struggle as much as I have been lately. I am really good at coping usually. And when it gets this bad, I know that there is big change coming, or that I need to make a big change. I have been having a lot of doubts about my job lately. I have a good job, and I love my coworkers, so it would be a hard decision to leave for something new. But I must admit that the stress has been getting to me more than it ever has. I do think that things will get better, but we just aren’t there yet.

I don’t do well with change, so I don’t take it lightly. And I still have a lot to think about before making any decisions one way or the other. At the end of the day though, I have to do what’s best for me.

So what do you do when you are dealing with anxiety that just won’t quit? Well, for me the best way to deal with it is to remind myself that there is no use worrying about things that are out of my control. I ask myself am I doing everything that I can? And generally the answer is yes, and if it isn’t, I take more action. When I do that and take a few deep breaths, and then remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world, and how much else I still have in my life to be grateful for, well that generally calms me down.

It’s when the overthinking and worrying start that I self-sabotage. I make up these scenarios in my head and get carried away. But sometimes what I do when I am worried about a certain thing happening, I imagine it happening, and how I would feel when it does and how I would react, and just that, making peace with the worst case scenario, can be really freeing and take the pressure off.

These are just some of the many things that have helped me deal with my anxiety and over-thinking. More to come in future posts of course.

Until then, I hope that you all have a great holiday with your families, and I will talk to you in 2018 and talk about the resolutions I am making for it!